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She sits around eating toothpicks and clothespins...who knows why…she tells herself she is on a high fiber diet...and so it goes…
She will say good-bye...you will say why...she will say because I don’t want to see you anymore…you will say okay…walk quietly out the door in tears…but thunder will come...you will slam the door jam screaming no…she will say yes…you will say no…she will turn the other way…look at you with moans, she will cry…you will cry…and so it goes…
You dream…you hear a voice…you will both be removed to darkened rooms…you hear nothing else besides your imagination…you reach out to her…she reaches out to you…they tell you not to cry as a grown-up…you laugh tears at the memory…she reaches out to you…you laugh tears at the memory…she reaches out to you…you cannot find her fingers…she reaches out to you…she cries…you do not forgive yourself for being blind…you dream you hear another voice…go to her it says…she reaches out to you…you long to hold her fingers…fingers you cannot find…you dream…she reaches out to you…you scream…you wake up…you are not dreaming…you cannot find her fingers…and so it goes…
Temptation exits at the next stop…you stay on in hopes of reaching your destination before nightfall…stations come and go but the conductor never calls yours by name…you pull the cord to stop the train…it does not stop…it keeps going amassing mileage...you wonder if you have your frequent traveler card…you left it in your old shoes… you cannot credit this mileage to anything…you sit down…you sit down…you keep sitting down…the seats have been removed...you sit on the floor…you hear the whistle…perhaps it is your destination…it is a concentration camp but you cannot concentrate…and so it goes…
You love her…she loves you…you cannot go back to old ways and mend your ties to others…they float on the windscreen…you bat them away with worn wipers…they scratch and smash like bugs…you carry them everywhere…you are worn out…she is worn out...yet you carry on…she loves you…you love her…she is winded from the duress…gets headaches like the earth sports weeds…she cannot get away from them…they follow her…she follows them…they…her and her headaches are inseparable…you have no choice but to console her…she wants to leave you…fuck it, you say…fuck it, she says…her mouth is even worse than yours…there is nothing left to fuck…and so it goes…
And so it goes…
And so it goes…
And so it goes…
copyright 2004
Larry
Jaffe |
